Merry Beltaine!
Today represents the joining of the God and the Goddess and is the time of growth and fertility. Also known as the Fire Festival, bonfires are lit in celebration of fertility and purification. In ancient days the herds of animals were passed between the two giant fires in order to purify them before sending them off to the summer pastures. This is the first day of summer in the pagan year.
( a great song to listen to, incidentally the one I'm listening to now, is Loreena McKennitt's "Huron 'Beltane' Fire Dance")
Do you ever have the feeling where you're just barely keeping your head above water and that at any moment the stress in your life will become too much and you'll just snap? I really hate feeling like this. Most of the time my stress-level is bubbling at bearable, but sometimes things will just set me off and I feel like I have to hit a wall, which of course never solves anything. The other day someone I love dearly was going on and on about their troubled love life and I was trying to help. I always take on the stress and drama of those I love which is not really all that healthy, but I am fiercely protective. Anyway, they were complaining and I told them that if they were so unhappy they should break it off with their significant other, to which they promptly told me to essentially mind my own business and that it wasn't my problem. This on top of some other stuff that's just been needling me, just set me off and I honestly wanted to punch a hole in the wall....I didn't, I cleaned instead. I hate cleaning, so I have no idea why I thought this would help, but apparently it did.
I am rather proud of myself however, for finally getting over something that's been seriously troubling me for months. Losing a friendship is always hard, but it's even harder when it's lost because of some personal foolishness on your part. This happened to me and I've been seriously trying to get over it for months but nothing's worked. I just couldn't reconcile myself to the fact that because of something I did, nothing was going to ever be the same...even when what I did was pretty minor and merely an annoyance. However, this last week I finally was able to write a poem which although saddening, it was very cathartic. I have come to terms with the situation but it's still depressing. But when the poem was finished, I felt a great weight lifted and despite the feeling of missing someone, my mood lifted significantly as if this has been dragging me deeper and deeper into the abyss of depression. So I'm putting my best foot forward and am slowly (but surely) recovering myself.
I have to study now, before my parents eat me alive, I have an SL Philosophy test on Tuesday and Wednesday..eek! :O
Síorghrá (eternal love) ♥
B
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